MOPS President Mandy Arioto gave us SO MUCH to think about during our last meeting all about Chasing Joy.
In a survey of 5,000 women about the top 20 emotions they feel on a regular basis, Joy came in last 92% of the time. 84% of moms report feeling anxious, lonely, overwhelmed, or insecure. Suicide is the leading cause of maternal deaths in Australia, UK, and Ireland. Let that sink in a moment.
Every stage of parenting has it's unique challenges, but can be full of joy if we choose to find the positives. Joy takes pursuit and practice.
Why does it take so much intentional effort to cultivate joy? Here are some facts about Joy:
You can be suffering and still feel joy.
You may not be able to control your circumstances but you are in control of how to react to them. One year after a life altering experience, newly adapting paraplegics and lottery winners both reported the same level of happiness. Joy is a decision and isn't dependent on external circumstances or what happens to us.
You think joy should come naturally, but it's actually a difficult emotion to experience. Our brain wants to protect us from disappointment and fear so it tries to short circuit our joy by reminding us of worst case scenarios. Acknowledge the fearful thought and get back to appreciating the moment.
God wants you to experience joy. Sometimes we think we don't deserve it or should focus on other's joy, but in the Bible we find lots of times where God fulfills requests for joy.
How can we practice joy in practical ways?
Go out of your way to make normal experiences special.
Make at least one thing better every single place you go.
When you are seeing your family again after time apart, be elated to see them! Your attitude in that moment sets the tone for the rest of the day.
Ask yourself, would I rather be a perfect mom or a joyful mom? We don't remember people for their awesome looks, clothes, or packed lunches.
Make a list of things you appreciate about people who are irritating you. It will help you see them in a different light and change your attitude towards them.
Remember, you are the only one who can give your kids a joyful mom and change the climate in your home. Even though life is hard, it can still be awesome!
GO DEEPER
Joy Cultivates Joy by Bethany Howard
Joy cultivates joy. Bitterness cultivates bitterness.
A bitter mom leads her family to chaos. A joyful mom leads her family to peace.
I want to be rooted in joy and witness peace bloom in my home. I will never be able to do that if my three impressionable kids see me lose my mind when dinner burns to a crisp because I’m preoccupied with looming transitions. It’s unfair to all of us to then hope for peace, when I’m cultivating bitterness. When I mother from a place of bitterness my kids get my impatience, frustration, and anger and that leads to a rough day. When that is multiplied, it leads to a life of chaos.
If I want my kids to be agents of peace, then I have to teach them that joy is what feeds and strengthens me for the work at hand. They don’t know much about the disappointments of life or the startling realities of our world yet, but one day they will. And they will need to know how to respond out of that joy. The only way they’ll learn that is if I do the work to cultivate joy in my own heart.
The pursuit of joy is a discipline. If we don’t see it as a pursuit and a discipline, bitterness creeps in. I make space for joy when I spend time with my creator so that I can silence joy-stealers with truth.
Here’s a few examples of joy-stealers: I don’t have what I need. I am unlovable. I am not capable. Those three pack a punch, don’t they? John 10:10 says, A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it to the full. Our hearts don’t get sustenance from lies. Truth feeds us and enables our hearts to choose joy.
A joyless existence, or just a meager supply of joy, will fracture my connection with my kids, my spouse, my world and with God. An abundant life, the life that I am called to live, is out of my reach if I don’t cultivate joy. I will miss opportunities to lead in my community and I will not even see all the goodness that lives in my house if joy doesn’t make a way
Upcoming Dates
October 20th @ 9:30am - Playdate
We will have a fun Halloween craft activity for the kids!
October 27th @ 7pm - Regular MOPS Meeting at Crossroads Wake Forest
Are you "afraid of your own shadow"? Fear is just a shadow, but it can overshadow our lives. However, God’s shadow looms larger than our fear. He is with us and will provide rest and protection from fear and worry, if we abide under the shadow of the God who loves us.
November 3rd @ 7pm - Regular MOPS Meeting at Crossroads Wake Forest
Gratitude is not something that comes naturally, but it is a discipline worthy of practice. The practice of gratitude leads us to face reality in a way few other things can, and leads to greater social, emotional and spiritual health.
November 10th @ 9:30am - Playdate
Bring your little one to pick some pecans! Bring baby carrots and apples to feed the goats!
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